I ran my first ever 10k this morning. I’ve been resisting it. Defiantly holding onto old ideas of not being a distance runner. But also (and more importantly) defiantly holding onto ideas that I don’t want to put myself in positions where my performance can be measured. Where I can be deemed better than, faster than, more competent than. But there has been on-going banter back and forth between a friend and I about it, and in the end, there was a piece of me that wanted to do it.
And so this morning, when I woke up at 5:00am (as I have been so disappointingly doing most mornings) I began to think about simply leaving the house and running. An hour later I did just that. The sun beginning to slip into the world as I parked at Elk Lake, it felt somehow like the perfect thing to be doing. And I committed to it. No walking as I’m want to do on runs, no deciding half way that I didn’t want to see this to completion. No faffing.
In my mind sat two times. An hour and three minutes, and fifty seven minutes. My goal was an hour and three minutes, but my desire was fifty seven. I have no watch that I can run with, and haven’t done anything in the world of running that revolves around pacing in more than ten years (although once I could pace myself perfectly over repeat 400’s within a second of my goal). So it was just me, the sunrise, the water, the path and my own internal clock.
It was dreamy. I didn’t even want to stop, didn’t have to buckle in and grind through as I was so expecting. And when I got back to the car, checking the time to know how my inner clock had been, it had taken me fifty seven minutes. The amazing innate ability of our bodies to achieve our desires blew me away. How had I done that?
It’s got me thinking hard about the way that we move towards the things that we desire, the goals that we set for ourselves. There is so much that sits in our subconscious and guides us through our day.
The importance of setting these goals with intention.
The importance of being conscious to ask for, desire, and move towards the things that we want. The things that will allow us to become better versions of ourselves. I use the word “better” much more loosely than I used to. It used to hold far too much black and white, right or wrong connotation for me. Now it truly means better. Funnier, more compassionate, happier, sillier, more settled. It can mean a better friend, a better lover, a better sister. And we can choose that. Daily.
So this here is simply a reminder, mostly for myself, that the things we put into the universe matter. The things we ask for manifest. The things we desire will come our way, if we choose to allow them. And perhaps, just a little bit, if we get out of bed early enough to move towards them.